Many are asking how we could make our world more liveable , friendlier , into a place where it is good to live under the same roof with 7-8 milliard people ! I think that I tried to answer this question in one of my writings “ Who is a terrorist ?? that is why I am sharing this again:
I am standing in a queue in a shop, a woman is doing the same with her grandchild.
I did not witness the start of the barney, I only took notice of it when the little boy aged between 4-5 years started stamping his feet then raising his hand to his grandmother , kicked her in the shin! And does all this, unpunished, surrounded by a group of adults standing in a circle ! Lets think about it , where does terrorism start ?!
The children come home from school and in a chorus start showering abuse on the teachers.. I try to explain to them to have a good teacher-student relationship in the class, that is the basis of all teaching, the student has to look up to the master, trustingly they have to respect their instructor, their teacher ! The students looked at one another and started to laugh, they believed I was joking with them !
During our talk it becomes obvious that they are proud that they make fun, bully one or the other of their teachers , often laughing in their faces ! I looked at them sadly , then told them that in reality they are terrorists as well ! They looked at me deeply offended!! Yes the terrorist is-I continued - who is not even trying to understand his fellow human being but out of antipathy, hatred tries to cause them unpleasantness , annoyance ,anger, pain ! According to Saint Therese of Lisieux there is no petty or significant good deed , only small love and great love !
Unfortunately the reverse is also true, there is no petty and significant terrorist , only hatred , anger , that drives us, to harm, cause pain to our fellow human beings !The evil spirit has no hand, leg ,tongue he would like me , that without thinking I enter his service , that I give over my tongue so that by the use of it he can speak ill of my brothers, he wants to strike using my hand , using my leg to keep on kicking the world despised, regarded bad by him! I wonder if those young people who with good intentions destroyed the Ukraine , Libya , or who instead of a dialogue set on fire Syria, the whole of the Middle East , I wonder in whose service are they , who is moving their hand, their tongue , their arms, weapons ?!
In many families instead of bringing up children in reality a training of dictators is going on ! We take away the responsibilities, work from children , the different tasks and this way they have no opportunity to experience their own limits , their capabilities under stress ! Today’s child very often only has one task unfortunately , to put into words his own demand , to choose everything that he needs!
As a child very often I learnt with burning pain that how far away can the end result of the most beautiful intention and the work carried out be ! I remember that with my grandfather on an early spring day , we had to repair the wooden paling of a fence damaged by the the huge amount of snow in Csík and the winter . With the enthusiasm of a child ready to act , happily I settled down to work . The hammer was cracking , I was also nailing full steam , but unfortunately again and again I missed the head of the nail , I hit either the plank or my finger , and in the meantime despite all my efforts the nails got bent either here or there . My wise old, dear granddad was looking at me smiling , then encouragingly all he said , “my son you are not standing in the right spot, as you can see this draught twisted all the nails! Then when he saw that in my childish naivety , turning , trying to work with my back to the wind , he laughed cheerfully , joyously and again showed me how one can with a few movement hit that blasted nail on the head! I just swallowed deeply, then in the afternoon, by when no-one saw me , I took a boxful of nails and a plank and virtually all afternoon I was hitting the nails , until accurately , precisely they were in a row just as I learnt it from my granddad .
It is not easy to raise this world to the level of our dreams , the reality that is formed by the deeds not by the intentions ! By night I did not have too much skin left on my fingers, that day I learnt not only how to hammer a nail in, but I also experienced my own limits as well, I learnt that good intention is not enough to get a nail into the right place , will or a wish is not enough either but we need more, experience ,undisturbed wisdom , skill , hard, enduring work ! Crying in my anger, frustration , with throbbing fingers I learnt to respect others’ work! The great truth is we judge ourselves based on our intentions , we judge others by their deeds !
We do not have to reprimand, judge our children our young people but get them to carry out day after day very simple tasks ! Lets help them to experience that from the real world existing around us it is difficult to give birth to pink dreams made out of eggshells . Our children’s setbacks make our children more understanding , sympathetic with regard towards our own setbacks ! By asking for help they grow up as not to judge , but lovingly hurry to the aid of their stumbling companions!
It is only this way that the blessed peace will shine in our world , and on the faces of our children our Creator’s beautiful feature , who " A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out! “
translated by dr kalotay eszter